Much of the writing that I do for my own personal processing is not in the form of prose. I have never considered my self a poet (I wish you could see the look on my face as I typed that word…) but often I find that emotion-filled, written expression does not, at least for me, come out in the form of complete sentences and neat paragraphs.
This makes me tremendously nervous to share this with you as it is immensely personal. However, recently I made a pact with someone to strive for more vulnerability in life. So, in keeping true to my pact, here is a piece I call
Suddenly aware. AwarE of this subtle Vibration. Vibration that has consistently set the rhYthmic pattern of my lIfe—yet perhaps I’ve been numb, calloUsed to its presence because of its consIstence.
Just what you wanted.
No more. No more. I couldn’t be more ashamed of my PassivIty. Forgive my apaThy, tiMidity. You’re hEre. Here. I can feel your bReath. Lead me to the pLace where you are. For I long to dWell where you are. Lend my just a mOment of that place where you are. Aware—make me awaRe of the nEed. Make me increasiNgly more aware of your adeQuacy to fill—no EXCEED that need. The need of my people, my city, my nEighbors.GLorious, graCious God—make me reaDy. These feeble 2 hAnds and two feEt. I want to walk away from being idol—unresponsiVe. You redeemed my soul and I kePt you for myself. Held you close encapSulated in my hands resting aGainst my chest. But in eVery way that you are mine, you cannot remAin solely within mE.so, BURST FORTH! Steady movIng to the fronT. Burst Forth out of the celL I placed you in. BURST FORTH and out and beyond, tuRning all the while to enVelope me in your poWerfully gentle perFection.
Wrap me—send me
Cradle my spirit and graPple my soul.
SEEP through every cell eveRy ounce of matter, every thought, concept—synApse.
Infuse then substitute.
You are a daUnting noveLty. Against which my cognitive atTempts to comprehend will eternally fail.
Penetrate– possess– procure