There are many things in this life that do not make sense. For the most part, I’ve stopped asking the “why do things like this happen?” question or the “who could ever do something like that?” question because the truth is I could weave my way through a philosophical and theological answer that suffices for most days.
But then there are the days like today…when I’m left staring into the eyes of a broken child; and no polished answer will do for the “why do bad things happen to good people” question. I have days like these and I think murderous thoughts (against the evil doer). I think regretful thoughts (for the victim). I think hatful thoughts (against the system). And I think obsessive thoughts about the day when our Creator will make all things new.
It happens. And I’m learning to just let these days be what they are; days that don’t fit into the box, any box. They are undefined; unexplained as are my reactions to the evil I see. So sometimes my writing becomes undefined an unexplained too. I wrote the words below about seven months ago; hid them away, then stumbled across them today. And mixed with the icky, unexplainable day I had, it oddly makes sense.
Where is the kiss to break this awful spell?
These moments where our existence feels suspended between realities
At this clash of worlds-the tangible and the Divine
Never have I felt more a stranger to my life
I want a distraction
then I’m lost in furious range because I feel so cognitive…
Where did my affect go?
And if I feel numb, does that mean I didn’t feel it…
Does it mean it didn’t happen?
Let our emotions be unrestrained and us
to feel them
Heaven did come down and collided with this earth
Glory was here