Don’t look down
Eyes kept shut
This I have to do on my own
I have been trying to write this for a long time, because I have been here for an even longer time
Precariously balancing on a thin wire that spans the schism between love and fear
This is where I live my life, walking…slowly…with shoulders mantled heavily with insecurities that constantly throw punches at my equilibrium (more…)
One month ago, upon the expiration of my 12 week sabbatical, I returned to my job in the mental health field. It’s been hard. Not really due to the hours or the schedule; that was the easy part of the transition. No, my struggle is placed elsewhere. Four weeks back in the battle and I’m noticing the trauma has been harder for me to cope with than at any other time I can recall in my 4-year tenure. (more…)
I don’t see a lot of violence firsthand on a day to day basis, but what I do see, in exuberant amounts, is the effect of it. I am a mental health provider and specifically I work with children and youth; most of whom are trauma survivors. I know their past stories of darkness intimately and I daily see the effects and the residual damage that abuse and neglect has on them. (more…)
How many of us can admit that we have made plans only to end up in a reality very far away from where we planned to be? A show of hands would quickly include most (if not all) of us and I’d like to be the first to raise both my hands; to jump up and down waving my arms violently in response to this survey. (more…)
There are many things in this life that do not make sense. For the most part, I’ve stopped asking the “why do things like this happen?” question or the “who could ever do something like that?” question because the truth is I could weave my way through a philosophical and theological answer that suffices for most days.
But then there are the days like today…when I’m left staring into the eyes of a broken child; and no polished answer will do for the “why do bad things happen to good people” question. (more…)
I have been ruminating on something for the past few weeks. Most people who know me even on a casual level know that this pensive act is not new for me. Often an idea or a concept will burrow its way into my psyche where it can remain for days, weeks or even months. I wrestle with it, I ignore it; I sleep on it.
So here I am again. Only I’m a bit more lost than usual. (more…)